Monday, April 29, 2013

Mr. Selfridge Want Ads (Episode 5)

WANTED: The best physician money can buy! Must be board certified in the most advanced medical techniques, such as asking a coma victim if he knows his own name or who the prime minister is. The successful candidate will be a forward thinker who does not subscribe to the archaic notion of bed rest, but allows patients with traumatic head injuries to wander across town on foot.

WANTED: A voice dub for Harry’s mother, as listening to her speak is a painful experience for all involved.

WANTED: A Wig Maker for Lady Mae. Must be skilled in strategic placement of hair, post-relations.  Successful candidate will be adept at creating the “mermaid on a rock” look.

WANTED: Microchips for the Selfridge children who wander willy-nilly into the most dangerous parts of London.

WANTED: A more than two second look at the display window the entire second half of the show built up to.

WANTED: Storyline development on other more interesting characters than Miss Towler and Miss Love. Yawn.......

WANTED: Sucker of the Year award for Victor, who thinks Lady Mae is going to set him up in business.

WANTED: MORE MR. CRABB!!  He’s an adorable puppy you just want to take home!

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